Tuesday, February 24, 2009

So, the therapy appointment went well (as always).  I always feel a sense of renewal after leaving these therapy appointments. Maybe its because after every appointment, I view it as a new start to tackle this PPD, maybe its because I just get to get out of the house or maybe its just because its nice to talk to someone who's job is to listen to me. 

Today flew by. 

I woke up at 4am to workout (but only did a brief workout - due to having a little cold). 
I showered and then since I had time to spare, I just laid downstairs in the dark and tried to just breathe and clear my head of all thoughts (I got this technique from attending a yoga session one time). I felt extremely relaxed (also because I took the Klonopin 45 mins earlier), but then the sound of a crying baby quickly brought me back to the ugly reality of having to go through another day.

So, Shane dropped off the baby and I had some time alone to eat some egg beaters cooked in the microwave and peruse the internet (my two favorite things). 

Went to work, left early due to feeling sick. Came home, took a nap. Picked up Keelyn, picked up my dog, picked up a consignment shop exersaucer, made dinner, walked on the treadmill, cleaned the kitchen, swept the floor, gave the baby a bath and now I'm about to go to sleep.

So, the question remains: Do I still feel this impending doom about my life with baby? Yes. 


Posey said...

Im glad to hear your session went well! Im sure it feels great to get out of the house!
How often are your sessions?

Crystal said...

Did your doctor mention changing/upping your medication due to still experiencing anxiety and depression? Don't give up - that doomed feeling, that heaviness on your heart, and that piercing pain you feel when the baby cries will all subside with time and medication. Trust me, I've been there!

Natalie said...

My sessions are 1x/week right now, since I'm such a mess! ha...

Crystal - I haven't met w/my psychiatrist yet, but I just really feel like the meds are working - I just have to let time do it's thing. I really think time is the main factor here. Time to heal, time to adjust to this new kind of life with baby.