Sunday, March 1, 2009

Fat, lazy, crappy food eating, unkempt mother...

So the weekend is coming to and end. Shane was with me all weekend so that was nice. (Every 3rd weekend he has to do drill at the Coast Guard Reserve). 

I feel so much better on the weekends when Shane is here since I'm not alone with the baby. Although on Saturday morning I felt a lot of anxiety and had to take a Klonopin. I just felt really anxious and overwhelmed - and I didn't even know why. Can we all say Panic Attack? So, to prevent a panic attack I had to take a Klonopin - which was weird since Shane was at home with me. This PPD and anxiety thing is very hard to grasp what will freak me out and what I'm ok with.

Today, my mother took the baby for the day, and I've basically been sleeping and eating....
Not very productive. So, now I feel guilty for not being productive around the house and I feel anxious for having to clean the house during the week when I have the baby and work. 
And I feel guilty for eating so much crappy food all weekend.
It's all just guilt, guilt, guilt.....

I feel like a fat, lazy, crappy food eating, unkempt mother. 

Ok - enough feeling sorry for myself. I will try to take it day by day and have a good week.....


3 comments:

Samantha said...

Hang in there!!

Pinky said...

Everything ok? Haven't posted in a couple days.....

Natalie said...

Samantha - thanks for the support!

Pinky - I'm just about to post an update -thanks for reminding me!