The negative thought of the day was "Got Guilt?"
So, moving on to the positive thought/moment of the day:
I went to my Stroller Striders class this morning and had a great workout and enjoyed the company of all the other mothers. (For those of you who don't know, I REALLY enjoy working out!). I then grabbed a McDonald's coffee at the drive-through and enjoyed my coffee while feeding Keelyn her bottle.
I then went through the motion of "playing" with Keelyn, and she was giggling and laughing while I kissed her neck. I really enjoyed being her mother at that moment....
I hope to have more "moments" like that.
2 comments:
You will! I found your blog by lurking on the O2 board, but I had to post a comment after reading about your experience with ppd. I have a 5 year old (today) and a 2 year old. I felt exactly as you do after my 5 year old was born. It took me 9 months to go crazy enough to get help. I got put on Paxil and felt so much relief! It was so hard because I loved my baby so much, but didn't want to be around him alone. My dh was deployed (military) from months 2-4 so you can imagine how absolutely insane I must have felt. Plus we were in England at the time, so far away from family! I had major anxiety/ocd issues, and basically just longed for my old life back. Today I am MUCH, MUCH better, so I assure you, you will get through this!
Crystal. I am so relieved to keep hearing about how women with PPD and anxiety are much better now.
Even with the meds, I feel as though it's just going to take time to heal all of this.
I HATE being alone with the baby - it causes me so much anxiety. But today, I've been alone with her all day - and I'm just pushing through the anxiety.
I have family that said they would watch her today - but I feel like such a failure having to rely on others to watch her....I guess that's the guilt thing.
Ouch - you're DH was deployed and you were all alone in England? I think I would have def gone crazy!! I am so glad to hear that you're doing MUCH MUCH better now. That gives me hope!
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