Monday, February 23, 2009

Here We Go Again....

So, I feel as though I've "relapsed" back to my first encounter with this damn PPD and anxiety. I feel extremely hopeless, depressed and I have this anxiety feeling in the pit of my stomach that just won't go away (even with the assistance of my anti-anxiety med). I feel as though I just am not supposed to be a mom, and that I'm selfish and I want my time back to myself. I made a huge mistake having this baby, and I don't know what type of path lies ahed of me....

I have a therapy appointment tonight, so hopefully I can get some of this crap under control. 


3 comments:

Posey said...

Good luck tonight at your session!

Pinky said...

"huge mistake" I am glad someone else feels that way, because it seems so unnatural for a mother to feel that way, yet this has ran through my head more times then I can count. How long have you been on your meds? You may need to increase your dose or switch to a different kind. Wellbutrin made me completely CRAZY, to the point I was ready to go to the hospital. Hang in there, it does get better. I know it doesn't feel that way, but the older she gets, the easier it will be.

Natalie said...

Hey Pinky - I've been on my meds now for about 8 weeks. Slowly increasing Lexapro from 5mg to 20mg.
I think I may need to switch meds, I don' know.
And I stopped taking the Klonopin in the mornings, since I can't function when I take that; all I want to do is sleep.

I sure hope it gets better. I just want her to be like 18 years old and moving out. I'm such a horrible mother for saying that. She's healthy, and smiling and giggling and a great sleeper and eater. And all I do is complain - ugh.
Thanks for your support!